Monday, May 14, 2012

A Win for States


As I looked through the clear bus window I could see the freshly cut green grass from a mile away. An important day loomed ahead; this was our way into the state playoffs. As we arrived at the field the tension in in the air increased, this was the game we had worked all season to get to.  Everything we have learned from this season is put into this one game.
 As the first inning started I sat on the bench and watched the game through the slits in the fence.  Dark rain clouds rolled in over the tops of the trees. The crack of the bat brought me back to focus. Ashley had hit a line drive that flew right over the third baseman’s head. She ran to second base and saw that the ball was still in the outfield; she bolted and slid into third base just as the ball was caught. “Safe”, bellowed the umpire. Next up was Lindy, on the first pitch she hit a homerun which gave our team two runs.  As the pitcher continued to throw perfect strikes our team took advantage of this and had many great hits. At the end of the inning the score was 5-0.  
By the seventh inning the score was 9-1. Our team smiled with confidence as we went out for our last inning. As I threw the ball with my teammate Lauren to warm up I recognized the determination that crossed her face. Next our catcher yelled, “Balls in coming down”. I quickly took the balls from the outfield and jogged back to the dugout. As I watched through the dugout fence our team crouched in ready position. Black lines of war paint outlined their cheeks while dirt covered the crisp white of their jerseys. As the first batter approached the box I could tell she was scared. Our team looked like and army and throughout this game we had been relentless. On the first pitch the batter fouls the ball off to right field. Our sideline coach tells our outfielders to move back because he knows that she is a strong batter. On the second pitch the batter hits a line drive to center field. Our centerfielder Anna drop stepped and ran backwards toward the ball. Extending her arm the ball dropped into her glove.
With one out I could feel the excitement in the air. With two more outs we would be in the state playoffs. The next batter struck out looking at three perfect pitches. One more out! As the next batter approaches the plate I could tell that she would hit the ball far. With protruding arm muscles it was a warning for a homerun. The batter took a perfect strike for her first pitch. On the next pitch she swung and missed. She stepped out of the box and I saw her take a deep breath. Here we go, I thought to myself. She stepped back in the box and I looked at our pitcher Molly, she wound her arm back and sent the ball flying forward in a perfect strike. The batter shifted her back foot and swung and connected with the ball for a line drive to left field. Our left fielder Heather sprinted for and watched it drop into her glove. She held her hand up and smiled.
With the win behind us the rest of the season falls away. Everything we do in these next few games determines our future. Our determination remains unchanged and our energy even stronger. We will not go down without a fight as we continue for our championship title and we will not rest until our softball banner in the gym reads 2012 tri-valley league champions.
Word Count: 622

3 comments:

  1. 1. This was well written and interesting! Good luck in the state playoffs!
    2. Did your team go undefeated so far this whole season?
    3. You gave really good description of the events that were going on!

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  2. Another high-quality entry! Here's one tip: when the score is 9-1, it's difficult to build tension for getting that last out. Focus your storytelling in a different direction than getting out of that last half-inning. The last out is anticlimactic in such a lopsided contest, so I found myself uninterested in the last few paragraphs. You could use the space to comment on the dangers of overconfidence, perhaps?

    The entry is almost flawless grammatically, but see if you can find the one or two slip-ups.

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  3. I meant to add that you did an excellent job with imagery and expressing an authentic knowledge of the game. Using vibrant terms like "balls in!" and "coming down!" along with "war paint" for eye black makes the writing come alive.

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